Secrets to an Awesome Marriage: No Compromise

Towards April, we will feature some of the chapters from Dr. Kim's book "7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage."  You may order your copy of the book here.

If you are married and want to live the rest of your life together, what are you doing today to make that happen? If you are single and desire to be married, what do you want that relationship to look like, and what do you need to do today to make that happen? It is easy for us to talk about what we want and yet not do anything to help us get there. We procrastinate. We get lazy. There are a myriad of excuses why we do not do the things we need to do.

Have you ever stopped to think that every marriage starts with a first date? I believe that every single person who wants to someday have a great marriage needs to have a checklist of what they want in a mate before even going on that first date. Set your standards, and then do not compromise them. If you are married, what was on your list? Did you compromise anything in order to marry your spouse? I have never talked to someone who stuck to their checklist and regretted it. On the other hand, I have talked to many singles who compromised and later regretted it.

If you are single, make a list of the things you want in a future mate—values, beliefs, personality type, family background. This is your list. Put on it the things that are important to you. You do not have to show it to anyone. After you’ve made a list, get going on preparing yourself to be in a healthy marriage. Here are some tips:

▶ Ask God to help you become more of who He wants you to be. Sell yourself out to this. Be diligent and persevere. It will make a difference.

▶ Do not change your list unless God tells you to.

▶ Read good, healthy books on being a wife or a husband.

▶ Ask someone who is in a great marriage to mentor you on how to become a great wife or husband.

▶ Be patient and wait for the right person.

▶ Trust God. He can make it happen. Trust His choice for you. Trust His timing. Trust His incredible love for you and His desire for you to have the best.

Getting to your destination of being in a good, healthy, long- term marriage starts today.